Actually, the word I am looking for is not serious, but it is rather calm. By which I mean the opposite of nervous. And would I or should I be nervous? Oh I dunno, getting married in just over 5 weeks (37 days to be exact). I have heard arguments both ways, that being nervous is a normal thing and that not being nervous just means you know. I think that's bullshit, the latter one that is. I think nervousness can be a good thing. Whenever I was performing in plays and musical(s), I was nervous beforehand, with never an ounce of stage fright, but the energy I got from the nervouness was good and I could use it to my advantage. Again that isn't to say that a lack of nervous feelings cannot be to my advantage, but even the nervous nellies of the world can be just as sure with going through it as I am, yet still they worry. Is it due to personality? Possibly but hardly. Why should I accept that something that is supposed to be somewhat of a rite of passage is not happening within my autonomic nervous system?
Confidence may have taken the place of nervousness for this one. Can I be sure, of course not. I'm very happy it hasn't been superseded by any feelings of negativity, that's for sure. I don't know what the future will bring, but I do know that I always have someone by my side to go through it with. Am I nervous now, or have I ever been? Not that I can think of...
And you know what, I'm perfectly fine with that...
On another note (a good topic to explore for next time) I have not written many poems in a while, although I have jotted down an idea or two. Does that say anything about me? Lets see, next time...
