Where are the words??

So since I have been with my lovely wife to be, 18 days and counting til the wedding in fact, I have seen a serious decline in my number of poems written. Some would ask me where the new stuff is, and I would not have an answer right off the bat. Of course this did also coincide with my new position as a graduate student. Right then and there you can make the excuses that go along with the lack of whatever it is that kept my pen off the paper or my fingers off the keyboard. It is surely the case, as has always been that I had ideas and they didnt make the page so they got lost amongst the clutter in my mind, thats for sure. But the main question is why, and am I ok with it?

The answer has many layers to it of course. Some might criticize that the one I hold so dear is wonderful but doesn't give me that motivation and inspiration I desire. Some would say the hustle and bustle of everyday life gets to be too much to bring the words together in a creative manner. Then there are those who are quick to point out that I may have exhausted my inner supply of nouns verbs and adjectives, since all my poems are about the same subject: love. I mean there is only so much that can be said, only so many combinations of the same words for passion, desire, lust, etc. You know the old adage about putting monkeys on typewriters? Eventually, they say, they will write Shakespear (yes, thats a nod to you, as well, Sher58)

What do I say about this? How do I feel? Did I lose the touch? Did Jess not measure up? The answer to this and more is surprisingly to some, no. I guess I shoud explain.
I think the combinations of some of the excuses or explanations may mix and match into some sort of attempt to keep myself afloat in this argument.
I would begin by saying that Jessica is absolutely the right girl for me. In some respects you can make a valid point in the inspiration argument.

Now before you jump to conclusions, allow me to explain. When I wrote the majority of my poems with JH(1), she was my best friend who I was in love with and the love was new and filled with bursts of energy and the unknown. On top of that, I had been in love with her for a while before. The other thing about it is that she was away at school or in another country for a lot of the time, and I had that motivation and that alone time. Jessica is still an inspiration but not in a new sense. There are differences of course and the kind of love is on a different level, so not everything is as it was. Also, Jess and I are always together so I dont always have or take the time to write. She likes to see what I write and I like to show finished products, so those two don't always mix.

Again it is true that school and Jess and trying to help my brother onto his own two feet make my time way less abundant. It is also true that alot of the words and phrases and stanzas and ideas I have used in the past. I would not say I am running out of them, but you could say that I am also pickier in my use, since I am afraid of sounding redundant. But again, that is only a piece of the puzzle.

When on vacations and planes, and when I have absolute time by myself, when at concerts and when reading selections from books (which is another constraint due to my busy life) I still get the motivation and can still hammer out some stuff here and there. The words were a lot fo what I had to hold on to when JH(1) wasn't around. I have Jess to hold onto these days.

The ending of this blog circles around 18 days from now when I will wed my love, my life, my best friend, my Jess. Then a jump into married life and responsibilities anew. There is still the birth of children in the future, and other such wonders of married life left to write about. I may have been excited about what the past brought me in terms of wording, but its going to be amazing to see what the future holds. The future of the words. No longer my future, but OUR future!